Vietnamese woman describes a life of domestic violence

Like many people, I grew up in not unfamiliar circumstances although not the physical violence toward the  woman but toward me; it was always in the air though.  The psychological violence was directed at the mother.  So I can understand the complexities of not leaving; especially with regards to  the children.  Violent offenders almost always threaten to harm the children.  It does such damage to family life.  I remember as a child being angry at my mother for not stopping it, after all, she was the other grown up.  But in later years I came to understand she couldn't being a victim herself.

I remember trying to watch a film based on a book called Bastard out of Carolina.  The man was violent to the child and I got so damn angry at the woman for letting him back in to her life when she should have protected that child, I got so angry, I couldn't watch that film, too close to home.  But these things are very complicated.

When I was more active in a campaign against domestic violence it was surprising to discover that it was so present among all couples; relationhips between women, men, it didn't matter.  Anytime we have relationships this can happen.  When we look out how human sexuality is commodified and how personal relations are so perverted by Hollywood and the society on which we live it's almost to be expected; look how women are portrayed. I saw a very powerful film at the time called "Defending Our Lives".  If you haven't seen it its worthwhile.  When we used to show it the room was in silence at the end as people's emotions were a complex mix of sorrow and anger and all sorts of stuff.  It is a documentary of three or four women who were serving life sentences for killing their abusers.

I felt very sad for the woman in the video.