Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Apple's Tim Cook cares about you.

Apple's Chinese partners: Watches for everyone. Get up get up.
What a humanitarian Apple CEO Tim Cook is.  Boasting of the merits of the Apple Watch he says that, “If I sit for too long, it will actually tap me on the wrist to remind me to get up and move, because a lot of doctors think sitting is the new cancer". 

Cook made this comment during an interview at the Goldman Sachs Technology and Internet conference. He went on, “Ten minutes before the hour, it will remind you to move. We have a lot of people using the Apple Watch at Apple, and ten minutes before the hour, suddenly they all get up and move. It took a little to get used to, but it’s great.”

Apple, Tim Cook, and Goldman Sachs, what we do without them? Cancer must be a real problem with bankers. Cook, who was reportedly paid close to $400 million in 2011 also owned a bunch of Nike shares. Could it possibly be true that the workers in the Nike factories in Asia all wear Apple watches and ten minutes before every hour the watch taps them as they sit like busy little bees at the assembly line? What a wonderful human being he is.

There have been some nasty incidents from what I understand. According to rumors, one of Apple’s business partners in China whose bosses were also extremely concerned about health, fitted their employees with the watch so they would be reminded to get up and walk around for ten minutes throughout their twelve hour shifts, but there was a malfunction apparently and the watched had them jump out of windows to alleviate stress. Fortunately, the innovative tech industry came to the rescue and nets were installed to catch the victims of any future malfunctions.

Cook did not respond favorably when asked if he would support a shorter workweek with no loss in pay as more leisure time and time spent with families and friends has been said to be quite healthy. Like Carnegie, the concern was that too much time off actually becomes unhealthy as workers will become lazy and not want to work for people like him at all.

Cook does support gay rights though. The man’s a saint.

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