Melania Trump on Fire?

by Richard Mellor

Afscme Local 444, retired

Yahoo news is fake news. It reports today that "Melania Trump Smolders in Cocktail Dress Next to Hijab-Clad Emine Erdogan" Now anyone knows that this is grossly unfair to Ermine Erdogan as Slovenian women are more prone to spontaneous combustion than Turkish women. This is a proven fact and was revealed on the Bill Maher show. Yet Yahoo continues to make a deal of it as if Emine Erdogan has a chance in the spontaneous combustion competition held in Brussels yesterday. As for the Iceland candidate, how could she expect to win, it's laughable. You can''t spontaneous combust in Iceland.

 

It is important to also point out that Melanie had another advantage, she was standing next to the woman who had pigs blood splattered over her dress and it is also a well known fact that pigs blood increases the chance of spontaneous combustion, especially  among Slovenian women. So Yahoo's glowing report about Ms Trump's "smoldering" is nothing but sensationalism and fake news.

Melania's shoes: cost $1995

Now, the other issue is this. That Ms Trump was smoldering and wearing these heels to accentuate her height, does not mean she is a good lover or a more intelligent and gracious women than Ms Erdogan.  I want to add a little bit of my own experience here. I was in London last year and got to talking to two women with heavy cockney accents. They were both Muslims. They were both dressed in black and one was comletely covered except the eyes and the other I could see her entire face. I got to talking to the one with the eyes only exposed and apart from the lovely cockney accent she had beautiful eyes and it made me wonder what the rest of her looked like under there. I was not put off by the garb although I am not sure I would want it 24/7. But I am not wearing it.

 

I found the mystery of it it quite titillating. After I explained to her that we weren't all like the Predator in Chief here in the US she began to womansplain me about why she wore this attire. She was not shy.

 

It was her choice outside of the home she said. It was cultural and in the present climate I guessed it might be more important for her than ever. This was my impression because I remember when I lived in this small village in England I was pretty much the only Catholic. I went to a Catholic school in the nearest town about 12 miles away and I have this memory of standing at a bus stop wearing the uniform of Blessed George Napier Roman Catholic Secondary Modern and feeling very proud of it. It's sort of like being the sole representative of a dying language. One has to defend it. The more Muslims are demonized, the more they will defend their faith and culture.

 

Anyway, as they walked off I turned to them and, being as the only Muslims I know are Arabs  I said "mas salama" or goodbye. Immediately I heard this "Oy, we're not Arabs we're Bengalis." A lesson learned.

 

Emine Erdogan.

Now the important thing is that I do find it odd and repressive that a woman dresses like that and yet a Muslim man can wander around uncovered. But who are we to talk. We have 10 year old children dressing like 25 year old women with makeup and lipstick and parading around like models. They are not behaving like children should.

The main thing is that no one should be told what they should or should not wear (young children excepted). Madison Avenue tells us what to wear. We have young people walking around with pants with lots of holes in them that cost a lot of money. Millions are spent convincing women especially to dress and look a certain, way.  I remember reading Malcom X's autobiography and he talked of wearing his hair in a way that made him appear more like a European, a white man. The capitalists don't spend billions on advertising because it doesn't work. The media can convince us of anything.  

 

As for Melania Trump's spontaneous combustion in Brussels. From reports I read in the media, the last time she smoldered like that was when her husband admitted to the world that he grabs women's crotches whether they like it or not, so there is evidence that sponataneous combustion and anger are connected.

I sort of fancy Ms Erdogan.