Monday, September 21, 2015

David Cameron and Piggate

David Cameron, the British Prime Minister allegedly participated in a weird ritual, sticking his penis in to the head of a dead pig during the initiation for a debauched and secretive society at the University of Oxford.

It seems the story will not go away and is causing the conservative Prime Minister, who has not hidden his fondness for drugs in the past, some embarrassment. Our resident poet, Ireland's Kevin Higgins shares his thoughts on the subject.

Cameron’s Denial
by The Bogmans Cannon Satirist-In-Residence, the right honourable Kevin Higgins
I’m delighted the honourable gentleman
asked me that question. To clarify; the pig
didn’t have its throat slit so it could sexually
gratify me, but had been dead
some time when I placed my little
pink manhood in its stiff, cold jaws. Nor
was I arrested and fined fifty Pounds
for taking without paying for
three pairs of bright red knickers
from Tescos at Leamington Spa.
Nor did I pay good money, with
the Queen’s head on it, for the privilege
of laying half a pound of raw liver
across an elderly
prostitute’s belly. Nor was I any
part of the group who put yams
up Boris’s bottom for a lark.
These are just tales chums
concoct to make one look
excellenter even than one
already knows one is.

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