Monday, March 2, 2015

US Congress debates drone attacks on Welsh capital.

I can't be a racist, his mother's Welsh says Guiliani.
from Ivan Testikoff.

Hawks in the US Congress are calling for a pre-emptive strike aimed at the Welsh cities of Swansea and Cardiff, Foxed news reports.  “We have every right to defend the United States if we think a nation is preparing to commit acts of terror against us.” Sen. John McCain told the media outlet.

Gove. Rick Perry of Texas said he had never heard of Wales until recently and that this alone justifies a strike. “Where have they been hiding?”, he asked Congress at a recent session. “I am convinced after hearing their language that it is a form of Arabic, these people are clearly Jihadists” he said, “just listen to them talk----they are ungodly people”

Bill O’Really. Foxed News host, said that the Welsh Jihadists are escaping capture by fleeing across the border in to Jordan, a US ally.  As a man of Irish heritage he is appalled that "Welsh Jihadists and their strange language", should be given any leeway.

Former US Senator, Joe Lieberman, one of the last prominent Republicrats, has been even more hawkish calling for “boots on the ground”. Asked why such a hawkish stand, Lieberman replied that he was tired of some Welsh people claiming that they are the lost tribe of Israel because their language sounds like Hebrew, “Enough of this anti-Semitism” Lieberman shot back.

Rudolph Guiliani said he wasn't sure where in the Middle East Wales was situated but he is sure that Barack Obama’s mother was Welsh and that he immediately be removed from office.

Opposition from some prominent Democrats is anticipated as they don't "love" America John McCain said. But Hilary Clinton, who said she knows exactly where Wales is and it's not the Middle East taking a swipe at her Republican colleagues weaknesses on the geography front, said "It's not unusual for the country to produce singers like Tom Jones.". But she accepts that the Welsh fascination with Delilah, does lend credibility to the argument that these people are of Semitic origin. She agreed with former Senator Lieberman though that something has to be done to curb the threats of terrorism and the loss of our American way of life.  She complimented Britain’s defense minister who this week called for increased defense spending as Russia is a threat to the British way of life and Vladimir Putin as great a threat to Europe as Islamic State.

Clinton’s one objection was a preemptive strike against Cardiff, “I’m a Shirley Bassey fan” she told TMZ news, “I don’t care if she is half Nigerian, she's not Boko Haram. It would be better if we bombed Aberystwith instead.” She also suggested Snowdonia as an alternative site for a drone attack as this is where "Welsh Jihadists learn their evil skills..

Former US president George W. Bush added his support, “We cannot allow these people to destroy our freedoms” he said, “We have a right to stand our ground. You’re either fer us or agin us-----bring ‘em on.”

Humanity should be eternally grateful that the leaders of the United States of America in Congress are willing to sacrifice the children of the American working class in order for us all to be safe from tyranny.

1 comment:

Sean said...

This is excellent Richard. It made me think that what is really alarming is that quite regularly we get satire on topics such as these and you do not know whether it is satire or whether some US politician actually said it. So many of them are so stupid, so many of them are so extreme right wing, so many of them will do anything to get a base that they say things that are just about incredible. Remember the idiot McCain chanting "Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran. " Then recently we had his running mate Palin making a speech and her teleprompter broke down and there now is a whole department set up in Foreign Affairs to try and see what she did say and if what she said was serious and and should they worry in case she got close to the Presidency again. Remember she was running for vice President. What would have happened if these two morons had got elected. Of course all these war criminals in both capitalist parties threaten the peace and security of the world in fact threaten life on earth as we know it. Sean.