Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Palestinian Monopoly, Israeli colonization

Below are two comedy clips about the Israeli theft of Palestinian land. The first one is Swiss, the second British. Thanks to The Electronic Intifada for sharing it and Ali Abunima's translation. Here is the Swiss production, Palestinian Monopoly. The translation is below it.

Player 1: Hey, you want to play a game?

Player 2: Sure, what is it?

Player 1: It’s called Palestinian Monopoly!

Player 2: I don’t know it.

Player 1: It’s easy, I’ll teach you. First we divide the territory cards equitably: 15 for me and 2 for you.

Player 2: But I don’t feel like playing…

Player 1: But you have no choice. [rolls dice] Eight! I’m going to build on this land in East Jerusalem.

Player 2: But you don’t have the right to build, it’s not your land!

Player 1: Ah yes, sorry, well, it’s too late. I already built.

Player 2: Ok, well my turn [rolls dice] Three! Take a “Chance” card: “The United Nations passes a resolution giving you back one territory and you get to draw another card.” [pulls card] Bad luck. It says “The United States vetoes the resolution. Give back 8 more territories.”

Player 1: My turn! [rolls dice] Double 6! I buy the electricity company and now I can annoy Gaza by constantly turning the power on and off.

Player 2: Ok, my turn [rolls] – a two – Nablus. I buy and build a little village.

Player 1: My turn! Twelve!

Player 2: But you didn’t even roll the dice! Player 1: No need! I bulldoze your village and build a colony of 17 houses.

Player 2: But you don’t have the right! It’s in the rules!

Player 1: But who cares about the rules? I roll a seven, pass Go and collect four million dollars.

Player 2: But it’s normally just two thousand shekels.

Player 1: Yeah, for you.

Player 2: Ok, my turn [rolls]. Seven [begins moving piece] … one .. two… what the? What’s this wall?

Player 1: You can’t go any further.

Player 2: I have no chance. When does this game finish?

Player 1: Never!

Here is the BBC production, The Israeli Embassy's Extension.

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