To me, socialism is an optimistic philosophy. That doesn’t mean that all socialists are
all optimists or good people. Actually, given my experience of all the groups
that claim to be socialist, I hope to all ends that they never achieve state
power; we’ll all be in deep shit.
But I believe in the socialist ideal as I believe in
humanity. We are collective creatures, we need the comfort and economic
security that human society offers us and we have come this far through collective efforts not through those whose goal in life is individual gain.
I consider myself an alcoholic as I have never been able to
quit the drink except for a brief period, the ten years from 1988 to 1998. I
started off trying to quit cocaine but ended up realizing that it was alcohol
that was my main problem. So I quit all of them , cigarettes too. I just have a
drink now and then, more often then. My
dad used to make me laugh because he got caught bribing orderlies to sneak him
in a bottle of scotch at the old folks home he was staying at when my mum had a
stroke and couldn’t take care of him any more.
“You’re an alcoholic
like me” I said to him when they sent me to his room to get him to behave. “If I never drink for the rest of my life I
will still be an alcoholic because it is my drug of choice.” I told him.
He was stunned, I could see by the look on his face. “I’m
not an alcoholic” he said with gusto, “I
can knock it on the head whenever I want”. To “knock something on the head” means to quit it.
I will take some literary license here as I don’t like to
cuss in writing but, “For fuck’s sake dad”
I said, “You’re 93. You drove the car
through the front door.”.
I am a social drinker as this is part of my culture growing
up in England. But I go to one pub these days.
I don’t drink at home particularly, after all, what is the point, no one
else there drinks. For me, it is the human contact, the social nature of a
drink that I am addicted to.
I had such a wonderful time in my local pub tonight. It is a
very mixed crowd, some workers, some small business types and people from
various backgrounds and ethnic groups. In short, it is a wonderful cross
section of US society. What’s missing is the poorest among us and the youth in
many ways, so it’s not everything, but it is a real piece of Americana.
I saw an older man there tonight who I haven’t seen for a
while. He looked gaunt and a little tired and he’s lost some weight. He used to
come in more often but I haven’t seen him recently. I walked over to him to say
hi.
“How’s things going?”
I asked him.
“Not good” he replied.
“What do you mean?”
I responded.
“Well, my wife died
and I miss her.”. he said.
I gave my condolences and asked him if he was from the area.
“I’m originally from
Missour-uh.” He says
I have a friend form Missour-uh and that’s exactly how he
says it but most people I’ve met say Missouri so I asked him why he says
Missour-uh.
He told me his people came from the Shenendoah Valley in
West Virginia and they travelled to Missour-uh in covered wagons. From what I can gather, these two pronunciations go back four hundred years. His wife died
earlier this month and he was having a hard time dealing with it, they had been
married 57 years. He felt a bit guilty about it saying that he tried to save
her but he couldn’t.
He said he was 86 (maybe 82, I can’t remember) but he was
having a hard time without her. I could imagine it. Sometimes I think about
these things. I am in my sixties and coward that I am I always think that I
hope my wife goes first because it would be so difficult to be in this house
without her presence; it was bad enough when my dog died. His wife was artistic and painted in oil. He was an
accountant but he wasn’t alone he said, “I
have two cats and a parrot in the house.”.
I told him how I believe we are collective creatures and he agreed. Human
beings need the comfort of others and our community. I used to live in what is
called here in the US the “ghetto” or
the “hood”. There were lots of problems, shootings,
drugs, unemployment etc. One time some
white folks got lost on and left the freeway trying to find directions to where
they were going. They ended up in my neighborhood where I was the only white
man and made a bee-line for me I could see it; they were terrified. People always think that in these conditions there's no community but they're wrong. It's this community that helps us survive.
I told them where to go but little did they know that my
neighborhood was a real community. I was safe there, my wife was safe there so
was my son because we were part of it.
We were victims like all of us there of urban blight and the problems
facing all residents of the inner city but we had a good friendly community
there.
This old fella agreed that human beings needed each other
but society has become so alienating, so greedy that we are disconnected not “like I was growing up” he said. “We have so little time and are so engulfed
in trying to survive we don’t have time for each other anymore” he added. I
agreed.
But this is how the ruling class likes it. We are all
individuals; they like to preach. Well, we are.
But we are individuals within the community of humans. We are not whole
outside of the community but capitalist society, one based on selfishness and
a ruthless “winner take all” philosophy
cannot abide collective living. We might
gang up on them.
As I talked to this 80 year old I thought how interesting he
would be to teenagers and the young folks we see day in and day out with their
faces glued to a cell phone screen or the TV and how much life they would
breathe in to him. Young people are lovely to be around. It reminded me of that
John Prine song, “Hello in There”, and how
we can walk by someone in their eighties and not for one minute think about the
wealth of history and life that is in them.
I am not used to writing like this and was a bit apprehensive
about it but WTF. This is political stuff. It is about regaining our
humanity and the wonderful collective spirit that makes us special and what has
enabled us to survive for so long.
A society that cannot respect and offer a secure, fruitful and comfortable life to its aged is not a civilized society.
This, existence of ours my friends is not civilization.
Richard: This is some of your best writing. I like it when you describe personal relationships. The personal stories and interactions give the ideology you advovcate life, narrative, emotion. It makes the abstract idea a fact of life. All organizing comes down to personal interactions, personal bonds. This was very genuine. I think you would like the book, John Barleycorn by Jack London. stay solid, shotwell
ReplyDeleteInteresting many other cultures don't understand the concept of loneliness.
ReplyDelete